The lady I’m staying with until my apartment opens is nice enough but she wanted to take me into town to show me these farmer’s markets today, so I went with her, and then I got incredibly anxious because of all the people I didn’t know and the general expectation she has of me to talk to everyone. Literally, 95% of the time she’s talking to someone, if I’m there, she introduces me. I get that she’s trying to include me but I can’t just talk to strangers like that and then I look standoffish because I say hello and then nothing else.

And she was visibly frustrated with me when I told her that all of it was making me anxious. She seems to be under the impression that merely DOING things that make me anxious will make me less anxious in the future and, while that may be true in the long run, it really doesn’t feel good. And then to know I was making her upset made it worse.

Bad anxiety/depression days aren’t fun. Luckily they all pass.

This guy who’s now on the FBI Top Ten list, the alleged cop killer, he lives in my hometown. His house is through the woods from my best friend’s house. They closed down some of the schools to protect the kids.

And here I am, three hours away, no idea what’s going in and worried sick that my friends and family are in danger. This sucks.

First Corps Cadets and youth group as youth pastor went interestingly. I essentially laughed the whole time and my face does that thing where it turns unnecessarily red and so everyone (they were all laughing too) made comments about it.

But I think I get an A- for effort and an A+ for results.

youth pastor that's me now ahhhhh

I’ve been in Chambersburg for three days and I’ve already encountered racism, homophobia, classism, and xenophobia. It’s absolutely terrible how narrow-minded and judgmental these people are… and they’re almost all self-identified Christians.

It saddens me to think that these are the people I have to work with for at least the next year. I don’t understand how people can get to these opinions and justify them to themselves.

The lady I’m living with is trying to tell me that gay people need to repent.

Yay. :(

This was from the summer, when we had this evening program of all these disgusting or challenging tasks.

A counselor from every cabin had to stand on ice and then they put ice atop our feet and in our hands and our shirts. We did it last summer too and none of the counselors budged at all.

It was so fun and silly and I thoroughly enjoyed being a silly human all summer.

This was from the summer, when we had this evening program of all these disgusting or challenging tasks.

A counselor from every cabin had to stand on ice and then they put ice atop our feet and in our hands and our shirts. We did it last summer too and none of the counselors budged at all.

It was so fun and silly and I thoroughly enjoyed being a silly human all summer.

camp ladore I miss this me

Oh gosh I start work today. Technically I’m not on the clock because I’m STILL WAITING for DHQ final approval, but I’m salary anyway so I don’t clock in ever.

I’m so nervous. It’s my first job other than camp and I’m just worried about getting it right.

"I began to realize how important it was to be an enthusiast in life. If you are interested in something, no matter what it is, go at it full speed ahead. Embrace it with both arms, hug it, love it and above all become passionate about it. Lukewarm is no good."
- Roald Dahl (via kushandwizdom)

I’m here, I’m alive, and it seems I’ve got my work cut out for me (which I always thought meant something was easy).

Take it away, Ernie…